My best friend, who is my constant encourager, prayer warrior and role model, taught me something many years ago that sticks in my mind still till this day. Throughout the week, I would receive some sort of encouragement; maybe an uplifting text with a scripture or a simple note left on my car reminding me how much she loved me. Often she would sign, "remember, it's the little things..." And there's no one who did the small things better than my sweet James (I call her James for short...her name is Jaime.) I have countless notes within my keepsake box that were placed on my car after a horrible day. Every Wednesday night as we got ready to lead worship, she was right beside me, covering me in prayer and teaching me how to be a leader. After band practice throughout the week, she sat beside me for hours teaching me how to play piano, calming me down after frustration came from not being able to conquer learning to play. I hold close the memories of nights spent at Starbucks venting and crying with her. The times when she didn't have words to ease the pain, but she had arms to hold me up...and she has, faithfully throughout the years. Every birthday, I have a special present with the sweetest words in a card. She loves my family and my boys like they're her family. LITTLE. MATTERS. to Jaime...because she knows that small things add up to make the biggest difference.
My best friend, Jaime
It soon became a phrase that we used at the end of texts or letters to each other, reminding each other that the small things in life add up to make the biggest difference. As I've grown older, that phrase has echoed throughout my life...and I'm sure it has yours too...you just have to take the time to see it. Many times I feel people look at God and think He only cares about the big things in life...like who you marry, what career you end up at, finances, how many children you have, etc. But, just like my sweet James, the Lord cares about the little things too. The things that bring those small, but genuine smiles across your face. The things you think no one really cares about and it's stupid or pointless to even worry about...He cares about the little and the big in your life.
I want to tell you a story. One that is very near to my heart & brings me to a place a vulnerability, but also one that proves the Lord cares for the little things in life.
As a little girl and dreaming teenager, there were only 3 things I wanted in my life. Some girls have dreams of seeing the big city, traveling the world or working for the leading fashion magazine in New York City. There's nothing wrong with those dreams...they're just not mine. I've always asked the Lord that if it be in His will, I wanted to (1) be married to the man of my dreams and one the Lord chose for me, I wanted to (2) fulfill the call of God on my life and have the job of my dreams and I wanted to (3) be a mama. If you've read any of my other blog posts, especially "I still fall for you, everyday..." you'll know that the Lord blessed me with the perfect husband; one that was created just for me and our love story is a beautiful masterpiece that I am humbled to be able to have and share. I daily answer the call of God on my life within the job I've been blessed with, serving as the worship pastor at River of Life Church of God. I'm able to work in every aspect of ministry that I've grown up serving in. I'm in the job of my dreams.
But...there was something missing. As I've told you before, I have the most wonderful step son, Bryson. I love him like he is my own flesh and blood and he will always hold a special place in my heart. I serve as a motherly figure in his life when he is at our house and the joy he brings to us is irreplaceable. But, I've always dreamed of the day when I heard my child's heartbeat for the first time, held him/her in my arms for the first time or watched my husband fall in love as he held his baby for the first time. I dreamed about the day of telling my parents (I've always envisioned telling them on Christmas) that they were going to be grandparents and my sisters that they have a baby to spoil. It was the only thing missing from the 3 things I've ever asked for.
[Here's the story I want you to hear...here's why I know the Lord cares for the little things in life.]
Bryant and I got married on November 9, 2013. After we were engaged and started to plan out our life, we agreed we would wait one year before trying to have children. However, the more months that past after we were married, the more I wanted a child of my own. Everyone around us was getting pregnant (we literally had 8 couples, 4 of them being our closest friends, that were pregnant) and all I could think about was holding my sweet baby. We started trying in February of 2014. March passed...no baby. Then April. Then May...June...July...August...September...you get the point. The closer we got to our one year anniversary, it seemed the more people that began asking when we wanted to have kids of our own. Every time that question came up, I just wanted to run away. WE WERE TRYING! And each month that passed, I could see the growing disappointment in Bryant's eyes. To make matters even worse, as Bryson's birthday was approaching, we would ask him what he wanted. He gave us a few suggestions, but made it clear what he REALLY wanted was a baby. I felt like a failure...for Bryson, Bryant & myself.
I asked 3 people, who are very dear to me, to begin praying that the Lord's plan would prevail and in HIS timing, should it be His will, we would be given a child. Shortly after asking them to begin praying, one Saturday morning Bryant and I were at home and a pain like I have never experienced gripped my abdomen. I was literally laying on the floor, in the fetal position, unable to move. I called my doctor Tuesday morning and he scheduled me for an ultrasound, expecting to find cysts on my ovaries. He thought that a cyst had burst and the pain was the result. Monday was a holiday and the quickest they could get me in was Wednesday. At the same time, I was referred to a GI specialist due to blood being found with my digestive tract. I had (some very uncomfortable) tests run to check out my system (I would highly recommend staying away from the GI doctor unless absolutely neccessary). The GI tests came back and a simple medicine could fix that problem. My ultrasound came back with no traces of cysts. My doctor was stunned. He said there was a possibility that by the time the ultrasound was done, the remains could have disintegrated & made their way out of my system, but I was praising the Lord that nothing was found!
Those results still didn't help with my third dream...we wanted a baby. And based on the past couple months, it appeared that wasn't happening any time soon and honestly, I didn't know if it could ever happen...but that was too much for me to think about. I had to stay focused on my job, my husband, our family & getting our house ready to sell. I couldn't think of that possibility.
December 1, 2014 was a normal Monday morning. I had two follow up appointments that day and was going in late to work. When we woke up that morning, Bryant looked over and said, "I think I'm going to stay home and be with you today." You have to understand, B LOVES his job. He works for a wonderful company and has a great position! It's not normal for him to want to stay home, but he has tons of PTO and vacation and decided to take a day...little did we know, it was the perfect day for him to stay home. As Bryant was coming home from the gym that morning, I asked him to pick up a pregnancy test. It probably sat on the table for 3 hours before I actually found the nerves to go upstairs to take it. Without saying anything to Bryant, I grabbed the box and went upstairs. (This may show some of my blonde, but I'm okay with that.) When I first looked at the test, I thought I was seeing things. Then, I thought that I had held it up to the light and the positive lines were showing through (even though the lines only form when you're truly pregnant). I didn't believe it so much that I brought it downstairs and told Bryant that I thought I was seeing wrong and needed him to read it. Immediately he began crying and all we could do was hold each other. It was the sweetest moment that I will cherish forever! Even after that, I didn't completely believe it, so we had to go by the Clearblue tests...sure enough, they all came back positive.
The test that finally made me believe it was true!
Here's how I know the Lord cares about even the little things in life. Two weekends before, we went to Birmingham to have Thanksgiving with Bryant's family. When we got there, Bryant's mom had a snoogle (pregnancy pillow), What to Expect When You're Expecting book, and a pacifier with a thermometer in it waiting for me. At the time, pregnancy was what I did NOT want to think about! We were able to meet Bryce (Bryant's cousin's newborn) for the first time. As everyone was eating, I volunteered to hold Bryce and rock him to sleep while his mom ate. As I was sitting in the rocking chair, I began to softly sing "Great is Thy Faithfulness" as he fell asleep. During that time, I told the Lord that I knew in HIS timing, he would give us the perfect child. On the way home from Birmingham, Bryant and I were talking about the stuff his mom had given us and began talking about having a baby again. Since this subject had been so sensitive for the past little while, we hadn't discussed it much. Out of the blue, while I was in mid-sentence, Bryant looks over and says, "I think you're pregnant now." "WHAT?!?!"...that was my first response. I couldn't tell if he was trying to lighten the mood or cheer me up...but I knew one thing for certain: he couldn't be serious! Each month and each box of pregnancy tests had proven to be just more disappointment. I knew there was no way I was pregnant...or at least I thought I knew.
As the days passed, all I wanted to do was sleep. I came home from work and got in the bed. Usually I am on top of house work and all laundry is washed, dried and put away before Bryant could even turn around. Cooking dinner was an every night thing and the house was never too terribly messy. But recently, all that had gone to pot. All I wanted to do was sleep. And then comes December 1st, when we found out the news. All the time while my mother in law was giving us the baby stuff, while I was singing about His faithfulness & while my husband was telling me I was pregnant...I was...the whole time.
Remember a little earlier when I said all Bryson wanted for his birthday was a baby? We found out December 1st that we were expecting. I went to the doctor for testing and confirmation on December 3rd (my parent's wedding anniversary, by the way), and on December 6th, Bryson's 6th birthday, we were able to tell him that his birthday wish was coming true! You should've seen how his face lit up. It was another precious moment I will cherish forever! (By the way, Bryson kept the secret until Christmas eve about his baby brother or sister...and who says 6 year olds can't keep secrets??)
Our social media announcement of our growing family!
Remember when I told you that we wanted to wait a year before having kids? After the first appointment that confirmed the pregnancy, the nurse calculated an estimated due date: August 9, 2015. If you count that back 9 months, do you know the date it falls on? (I'll help you out and do that math) November 9, 2014...exactly 1 year since our wedding day. I guess the Lord wanted to make SURE we kept our promise to each other of waiting a year :)
[Since then, we have had our first ultrasound and they gave us the due date of August 5th.]
Oh wait, it gets even better! Remember how we said I dreamed of being able to tell our parents for Christmas? That's exactly what happened. I wanted to have a picture to show them of the baby as a part of their Christmas presents. Without telling the nurse why, I simply asked when my first ultrasound would be. "December 22nd," she replied, "Hey! That's just in time for Christmas!" I didn't cry when we found out about the baby and I didn't even cry when I heard the heartbeat for the first time (yeah, I know...Bryant calls me heartless too), but I cried when I got in my car that day. The Lord orchestrated it all...perfectly! December 22nd would allow us to have a picture to put with our parent's ornaments that said "The greatest parents get promoted to grandparents" and with my sister's coffee mugs that said "The greatest sisters get promoted to aunts" (oh, I wish you could've seen their reactions), but it also fell within the week we had Bryson before Christmas...meaning he was able to see his little brother or sister for the first time with us. I couldn't have planned it more perfect even if I wanted to...the Lord knew exactly what He was doing!
These are 2 VERY excited aunts!
And finally (I promise I'm almost finished), here's one more piece of this beautiful puzzle that the Lord is putting together for us. The beginning of this blog was about someone very dear to me; someone who has invested in my life and not just in the good times. She's stood beside me in my darkest days and prayed me through to victory. She's the one I know is praying for me in the wee hours of the night when she's up with her own boys. She's my encourager, secret keeper and very best friend. She taught me about the little things...how they add up to make the biggest difference. These pieces of the puzzle, this tapestry of faithfulness knit together by my heavenly Father, all came together through the little things. I find it incredible that something so dear to me and life changing, such as having my own child, would come together through a lesson that was taught to me many years ago by someone who I try to model my life after.
"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trust with much..." Luke 16:10
I pray that the legacy I leave for my children is that of the legacy James has left in my life and many others...the little things add up to make the biggest difference; be faithful in the small things.
Baby Davis should make his/her grand appearance August 5, 2015. This mama will be VERY happy once this first trimester is over. Just 2ish more weeks..."sick" is an understatement. You know it's bad when you're going to the bathroom & your husband asks, "are you throwing up or peeing?"
